This is our annual plea to our healthcare advertising brothers and sisters to amp up the creative, and stop churning out the boring, the cliché the misshapen, and the nonsensical.

We understand deadline pressure, client demands and the swell of pride when you’ve turned out a fine constipation animation. But think of the rest of us. We’re eating dinner. We’re couch potatoes looking for a reason not to get up and pop open another beer.

Help us.

No more jigsaw puzzles. where your drugs-device-hospital is the missing piece of the puzzle that brings peace, harmony and regularity to the lives of your patients. We’ve all done that one. You get one puzzle piece in your career.

Back to constipation. We all understand the concept of what happens when your pipes get stopped up. And all the cute animations that make poop look like Jellybeans sliding over each other aren’t fooling anybody.

Pharmaceutical advertising for any drug that causes brain damage or may kill you. We’re all for those awesome side effects and the disclaimer, but they irreparably mess up the creative. “Hey mom, did you take your neuro flattener today? That’s great because the box says you could be dead or bleeding out your ears.

Now for you medical marketing device types: Many of your devices are spectacularly ugly. And without detailing, they look almost exactly alike, too. So, stop making them the heroes of your ads. We’re buying your bazillion dollar machine, because it will save lives, speed up recovery, last forever, and has a fabulous Medicaid reimbursement. Dramatize THAT, and doctors will have your brand seared into their brains.

Doctors – They come in more than two colors. And two ages: Handsome, middle-aged man hair streaked with grey; and a female version so young she would have graduated medical school at age 12.

Stethoscopes are not a competitive advantage for your hospital; We all have them. Nurses have them, too, so does my mechanic. As a descendant of the ear trumpet (first hearing aid), it doesn’t scream high tech. Do better. We’re not giving you all the answers.

Your patients come to you to get well. But they’ll never find you if you bore them to death with your advertising.

Here’s to fresh and exciting marketing in 2018.